"Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" Review

A while back I bought a book called "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I'm usually not one for self help books but only because I never seem to connect with them. There intension is to help but I always leave confused with nothing I can actually apply to my life. For instance I always think about vague books like "The Secret" that are about the simple idea of putting good energy in the world and the universe giving it back - a sort of cause and effect deal. But when it tries to get deeper down into the subject it tends to waffle on and go round in circles.

So when I saw "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" at the bookstore I was cautious. However the title called out to me. I've been grappling with how to lead a creative life and whether I should keep it a hobby or turn it into a career. But also I knew that my life unfortunately is overwhelmed with fear. If I had an "Inside Out" scenario going on in my head fear would definitely be the leader of the control room. And with that thought I bought it.

It sat on my shelf for quite some time waiting to be read as I tried to get myself out of a reading funk. It was only a couple weeks ago on a sunny day while I was in the middle of the #makeasplash challenge I decided to start the book. That day I finished half of it in one foul swoop and rest of it on the sunny days after. It's been a while since I've read something that I felt so connected to. It doesn't feel like a self help book but instead more like a collection of stories from the author's life that have taught her lessons she wishes to pass on.

What I liked about it the most surprisingly is that it is quite a spiritual book. Gilbert talks about inspiration as if it is a separate entity on the hunt for open people to bestow its ideas to. Reading Gilbert's ideas on inspiration and creativity reminded me of one of my favourite pieces of writing about what is known as the blessed unrest:

"There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it.

  It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open.

  No artist is pleased. There is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."

-Martha Graham

What draws me back to creative living again and again is the process of turning inspiration into pieces of art - the act of capturing "Big Magic". Gilbert talks about the importance of leading a creative life but not necessarily have it be a career. Just as long as creativity is incorporated in whatever way it can improve your quality of life profoundly. We should be free to make what we desire and not have to worry about the response and judgement that comes after we put it out into the world. It's act of making that is what we should be in it for, not the approval of others (no matter how nice it can feel).

With this in mind Gilbert also talks about the pursuit of a creative career and the mindset needed in order to prepare yourself for the shit that comes along with the whole process (the shit sandwich as she calls it) and how she deals with it. Failure is part of the journey. In this part she touches on the idea of the tortured artist and completely debunks the idea which makes me internally cheer.

There's probably so much more I could say about the book but I wouldn't want to spoil it for you incase you do eventually decide to give it go. I've already passed mine onto a friend to read and once I get it back I'm definitely considering reading it again which is a rarity for me. I wouldn't say the book has changed my life but it has definitely opened my eyes. Whether my life changes is in my hands.

Hazel, xoxo

April Sketch A Day Faves

April has been both good and bad regarding my sketch a day progress. Unfortunately I've missed quite a few days this month for various reasons. There have been a couple of days where I have taken a strong dislike to the idea of drawing. This feeling isn't new and usually stems from the feeling of being forced to do something. So I've realised on these days it's not a wise decision to force myself to draw something because usually the end result won't be anything worthy of uploading. Luckily this hasn't happened too many times and the rest of the days I haven't uploaded I physically couldn't because there weren't enough hours in the day. But most of the days I have uploaded I've felt pretty good about my progress.

I started the month off with a colouring pencil binge thanks to my new faber-castell polychromos. It really can make a difference if your materials are good. Polychromos are just so easy to use. Here are a couple of my fave pencil drawings. I began to work on my ice queen over a couple of days and really want to go back to that schedule at some point just because I really like what I managed to do and by the end of the year I want to look back and see some bigger pieces. Spreading the work out over a couple of days allows me to do bigger work.

 

In the middle of the month I went back to my first love, graphite pencils but also experimented with my promarkers. My addiction to dance moms has continued  and expanding to me watching Sia's music video Big Girls Cry featuring Maddie Ziegler and instantly loved it. Also Kimmy Schmidt came back on netflix so I had to commemorate it! 

Last month I said I wanted to do more painting since I hadn't got round to it yet. So within the last week or so I have gotten my watercolour out. One of my favourite things about watercolour is the fact it is so convenient. Unlike acrylics where you can find yourself wasting paint, watercolours can't wasted because if they dry on the palette you can just add water and they can be used again. Here are my fave watercolours. 

 

Beyonce's Lemonade is definitely a fave of the month. She is a true artist in my eyes. 

Looking back it has been a pretty good month. It's not until I look through my work for the monthly review that I can see it clearly. Next month I aim to continue with the watercolour, hopefully do some canvas work, try to miss less days and to aim for bigger pieces spread overy a number of days. Seems attainable. 

To follow my #sketchaday2016, Instagram, Facebook and Tumblr are the places to be. Hope to see you there!

Hazel, xoxo

Make A Splash - Getting out the Watercolour Paints

Watercolour painting by Hazel Stewart, Age 9

Cass Art have started the Make A Splash campaign to encourage people to experiment with watercolour painting. So I've dusted off my Grandma's old watercolours hidden away in my cupboard and decided it's time to challenge myself.

Watercolour has never been a medium in which I was completely comfortable with. Since it was my Grandma's chosen medium you would think I would take to it like a duck to water. I was surrounded by it and so I would have picked up some tricks. Subconsciously maybe they're in there somewhere. As you have seen from my sketch a day I have tried watercolour pencils and sometimes achieve good results. However I've always preferred acrylics since they have a strong colour pay off or pencils for their precision.

To some it up I like to have the control. With watercolour, especially since I'm pretty much new to it, I have none of it. The water chooses to do whatever the hell it likes and nine times out ten it's not what I want it to do. But hopefully as time goes on we can reach some type of agreement both the paints and I.

I'm four days in and I'm starting to understand a couple of things. The one thing that really bugs me though is the fact that the white paint is next to useless if I'm applying acrylic techniques. I'm probably going to have to invest in masking fluid because I'm not quite grasping that if I paint over the surface of the paper it will never go back to anywhere near as light as it was before. Even if I put white paint on top. Automatic pilot is clearly sabotaging me.

My hope is that one day it will all just click into place like I've figured out the DiVinci Code and I look like Phoebe from Charmed having a premonition when it happens.  

Hazel, xoxo

Faber-Castell Polychromo Pencils - My Goldilocks pencils

Dare I say it but I think I may have found my ideal coloured pencil. I previously posted about being on the look out for pencils that where not too pricey but yet where of a good quality. And to be honest I think that it near impossible to find. You have to invest some money if you want quality. I was so close to buying Prismacolor because of its price but after reading more reviews about the constant breakage of the lead I knew it just wasn't the pencil for me.

And so this was when I stumbled upon Faber-Castell Polychromo pencils. Unlike most pencils they are oil based meaning they are great at blending but also can be layered up without the patchy and waxy consistency of pencils like coloursoft or prismacolour. The lead can be sharpened to quite a fine point which is great for detailed work and the pencil itself isn't too soft but yet you don't have to lean extra hard to get strong colour like you would for most coloured Derwent pencils.

I think Faber-Castell Polychromos may be the goldilocks pencils I was on the search for. I ended up getting a set of 36 to get a wide array of colours. Also what is great about these pencils is you can go online and buy colours separately to add to your collection unlike other brands. The tin I have doesn't contain any solid skin tones but if I want I can order them online. For now I'm just going to play about with their blending capabilities to see if I can get similar colours but it's great to have the option. Plus I think mixing colours creates more dimension instead of flat, solid skin tones.

All in all I'm a happy bunny. I will say they weren't the cheapest of the bunch which is why I opted for a medium size set otherwise I would have got the whole collection. They cost around £40 for 36 but I can justify cost since they are so good. If your anything like me when it comes to coloured pencils I would recommend buying them. Obviously everyone's preferences are different. I personally just don't like having to lean really hard to get the colour pay off I want but also want the option of layering up the colours. With these pencils it's quite easy to do.

I hear good things about other brands so maybe in the future I will try them out but for now I'm happy!

Hazel, xoxo

Shopping about for Coloured Pencils - Derwent Coloursoft Impressions

Recently I have been on the search for my ideal coloured pencils. Currently I'm using an old WHSmith brand and a bunch of random pencils I have gotten over the years so I thought it was about time I invested in some good quality pencils.

My first thought was to buy Prismacolour since most people online agree that they have great colour pay off while not being as expensive as other brands. Unfortunately the only place they are available is on Amazon and if I was to buy them as a complete set they would put me back around £60-£70. So as you can imagine I have been looking up more reviews to see if they are actually worth the money. Even though they are great for colouring many people have said that they can break quite easily and to be honest I don't want to buy a brand I haven't tested myself.

My next option was to buy some Derwent pencils. I currently use the graphic pencils and I'm very happy with them. Derwent do many ranges but I narrowed it down to the Artist pencils and the Coloursoft ones. I came across a small tin of coloursoft skintone pencils on Cass Art's website so went ahead and bought them to test out before I took the plunge and bought a bigger set.

My initial impression of them was how waxy they seemed which makes them good for blending, as long as you don't keep layering up the colours. I did enjoy how easy it was to apply colour to the paper and the pigment was pretty good. However the texture of the colour wasn't always ideal and I was only able to get the colours I wanted if I mixed them with my WHSmith pencils. So currently I have decided not buy a big set of the coloursoft pencils for now.

The colour pay off is good and the blending is okay as long as you don't keep layering up the colours. It can turn quite waxy and patchy in parts. Also works well with other pencils.

So I have looked into the Artist Pencils but unfortunately the majority of people who have used them say that you have to lean quite hard with them to achieve vibrant colours. However the pencils will last a long time unlike Prismacolour's easily broken led and the colours are buildable.  

So I'm back to square one. Ideally the pencils I'm looking for have good colour pay off without leaning too hard and I can layer up the colours without fear of it looking strange like the Coloursoft eventually does. If only Derwent did a range inbetween the Coloursoft and Artist pencils where they are both blendable but not too soft - a Goldilocks range. But it seems that the only other ranges they do are Inktense and pastel pencils which are not what I'm currently looking for.  

My WHSmith pencils are okay for now. And really if I was able to find a bigger set of them I would be tempted to buy them. But chances are they don't make them like they used to. If anyone has suggestions let me know. I'm still looking.

Hazel, xoxo

My Nephew's Winnie the Pooh Wall Mural





I can't believe it has almost 3 years since I painted my nephew's Winnie the Pooh wall mural. When my brother and his soon to be fiancé asked if I would do it I jumped at the chance. I always wanted to do one but I thought it would be in my own room when I eventually did do it. This way I could try it out before I committed to my own room.

I started out with a rough sketch with Calum and Kerrie giving some ideas of what they wanted and went from there. Once the paints where bought the best thing to do was to start no matter how daunting it may have seemed at the time. I started in June of 2013 doing about two full days of painting a week and finished in August, about a month shy of the baby's due date.

By the end of it all I was really proud of what I had accomplished and considering it was my first project of that scale I thought I had done pretty well! I remember thinking "how on earth am I going to go back to A4 after this!"

When backing up photos I came across a bunch of progress photos from when I was painting the wall and thought it was about time I spliced them into video slideshow.

My nephew still loves his wall. He loves the little ladybird right next to his crib and makes buzzy sounds when he sees the bees a.k.a. the three amigos. I have even been told he likes to say goodnight to all of the little creatures, such as the butterfly, before he goes to bed sometimes. So I don't think the wall will need painted for a while yet!

xoxo

Who Am I Making Art For?

You would hope the answer to that question would be me, wouldn't you. Recently I've been asking myself this question a lot when I'm searching for inspiration and reference material. Every now and again I find myself thinking of what other people would be more likely to like on facebook or reblog on tumblr. I know these thoughts are ridiculous and the more I sketch the more I realise that I need to please myself with my art before I try pleasing anyone else.

This piece has over 100 notes on tumblr. This piece also only took half the time of my usual sketches. You never know what people will respond to but it shouldn't be my job to think about that too much. I need to make for myself... not for likes.

Trying to please others is what lead me to stop making art in the first place but I hadn't quite realised this until recently after having a conversation with a colleague at work. She had come across my instagram account which I have recently been more active due to me setting myself the challenge of sketching or making a piece of art everyday this year. It got us on the talking about art as a career and why I hadn't pursued it. She went on to tell me about how her mother makes dresses in her spare time and had even made her wedding dress which caused her to ask why she hadn't turned dress making into a business. Her mother responded by saying that she never wanted to turn something she loved into a job because she could quite easily begin to hate it if she spent her days making dresses she didn't like or just didn't want to make but had to because it was her job. Keeping it a hobby would ensure she would never hate it.

This struck a cord with me because it was basically what had stopped me from going to art school turning my hobby into a career. I had a taste of hating my hobby in my last year of high school where I had stopped making art I wanted to make and instead was making things to please others or to achieve a grade. And even though I look back at that year and I'm proud at the volume of work I managed to do and my A grade, I also felt and still do feel shame that I had done so much work that didn't reflect who I was, and so my self esteem nose dived as a response.

The sketch a day 2016 challenge so far has been great at helping build up my self esteem. I don't think enjoying art fully again is as simple as making something I truly want to make. Perfectionism and high expectations also have there part to play but making things I believe should always be what drives me forward.

Having said all of this, I do find pleasure in making things for other people at times. Making other people happy with a drawing can be an amazing feeling but I think it's about finding a balance. I'll let you know when I have struck that balance and stop waffling now!

Self Portraiture

 

 

I think one of the hardest things anyone can draw is themselves. Personally I've always loved drawing people but when it comes to drawing myself I'm not so comfortable with it.

 

When I did Advanced Higher Art back in high school I chose Self Portraiture as the theme for my course work without realising what I had let myself in for. I hadn't quite fully realised how big a role self perception plays in how a self portrait turns out. Depending on how I felt about my life but more importantly myself, tended to altered the outcome of each portrait. So on one day I may have felt self conscious about my appearance causing me to adjust my features to look "prettier" or I could go opposite way and emphasise how big my chin was or how wide my face appeared to be without realising what I was doing until I stepped back to look at what I thought was the finished piece. It was basically an exercise in illustrating body dismorphia.

 

Very rarely did I hit that sweet spot of actually seeing myself for what I actually was and managed to separate myself from my perception of myself. But as I'm getting older I feel like I'm get better at it. Maybe not the drawing part just yet but at least the part of accepting my appearance. It all seems so shallow and vain when you put it in terms of appearance. To a degree it is. But my style of art has always been based in the realm of realism so it comes with the territory.

 

On my birthday this year I decided to draw myself for the first time in while. I used a photograph as reference and even though the finished sketch wasn't identical to the photograph I could see myself in parts looking back in the drawing. I think I should probably draw myself more, at least once year anyway. Just to check in and see how I see myself at that point in time.  

Sketch A Day 2016 progress and Watercolour pencils

Even though it's only the 14th, I'm already looking back through my sketches and feeling quite proud of myself that I've managed to do quite a few. When I set myself the challenge of a sketch a day I thought a lot of them would be small, lazy drawings that I would quickly upload to get it out the way. But I'm finding I've done quite a few that are quite detailed. Obviously I won't always be able to do this all the time but it's nice to know that I'm capable of it. I also thought I might have packed it in by now since I decided to do it on a whim! Glad I haven't.

So here are my two favourites in case you haven't had to chance to see them yet.

Both of these pieces were done with watercolour pencils which I have found to be so much fun to use. Even though I quite like coloured pencils on there own, there is nothing like being able to use a brush and water for me. It's just so smooth and therapeutic, whereas pencils can be quite stressful at times especially when working with a lot of colour. I'll definitely be using more of these!

I've been trying to use a variety of different mediums and found charcoal and chalk pastels to be the most difficult for me to use. Hopefully in the coming months I will have grown more comfortable with them so much so that I will feature them as a favourite. But for now they shall stay a challenge.  

Stay tuned for more sketch posts soon!

Hazel, xoxo

All the Links

I thought it would be handy put all my links up all in one place. Chances are I'll probably make a separate page for this later on but for now this will do. I'm most active on my Instagram, Tumblr & Facebook currently but there are some other links in here too, in case you want to do a little nosey!

Tumblr - www.hazelstewartart.tumblr.com

Facebook - www.facebook.com/hazelstewartart

Deviantart - www.hazelstewart.deviantart.com & my old account cuteasabutton-xo

Instagram - hazelstewart93

Twitter - hazelstewart93

Pinterest - hazelstewart93

Hello and Welcome!

First blog posts are always the worst. So I may as well just delve right in!

Hello there! My name is Hazel and I enjoy drawing and painting. At least I do most of the time. Unfortunately for the last couple of years I haven't been doing art as much as I would have liked to for many reasons. But the main reason being I put too much pressure on myself for the stuff I made to be up to a particular standard. I would have never labelled myself as a perfectionist but in certain ways I probably could be called one. I see this as more of a hindrance than a help.

So recently I have embarked on getting back into the swing of things and trying to rid myself of the unnecessary pressure I have been putting on myself. So this year I decided to set myself the challenge of sketching something, no matter how big or small, everyday of 2016. Within this challenge I'm also trying to push myself slowly out of my norm so by the end of the year I'll be able to look back through my sketches and see variety, instead of the same old faces. Of course I love portraiture but it can get a little boring if that's all you make. By drawing new things I wouldn't usually think to draw and using different materials, I'm finding art to be a little more interesting and enjoyable. At the moment at least (I'm only on day eight!).

My goal is for sketching to become like second nature and for it to inspire me to go on to make bigger projects with hopefully original(ish) ideas. At the moment I'm just sketching but hopefully with time I can do more. It's almost like I'm getting in touch with my old self at risk of sounding corny. Art used to be such a big part of my life and identity but recent years took me in a different direction. I just feel the need now to get back to my roots.

If you made it through this awkward first post, well done you! I hope you stick around! :)

xoxo